Art in the Making
“Living life as an artist is a practice.
You are either engaging in the practice
or you’re not”
-The Creative Act: A Way of Being by Rick Rubin
Well, its the first blog post on the new website. I was hoping to do these posts more frequently but clearly I’ve been unsuccessful in that. At least I’m here now though! So lets get into it, whats on the artist’s mind this week. Right now I’m wrapping up the largest painting I’ve ever done and it is also the most unlike all my other pieces. It exists as an abstract piece. Because of this I’m having a hard time knowing exactly when it is done. It was so clear to me conceptually but now that I sit with it literally taking up space I’m not sure any more. But as Rick Rubin explains in the The Creative Act: A way of Being it’s important to create and move to the next. And the next pieces exist, at least the idea of them does.
I have the next piece I plan to work on all figured out. I’ve known how I wanted it to look for a minute and after sketching out the idea on the canvas I’ve become bored of it. Maybe I let it simmer too long, maybe I needed to make this other piece first, maybe I just got lost in how everyone already reacted excited when I talked about the idea of the piece. I’m not sure, and I’m not sure it matters either. The canvas I got specifically for this piece isn’t my normal canvas shape and this isn’t the type of work I’ve made in a while so it’s good practice regardless to make the piece. I’m just putting it off for now.
One of the ways I’ve been distracting myself from this concrete idea I already have is the idea of another piece. I haven’t quite figured out what the final form of this piece is but I feel its almost there, just waiting to be seen in the background of my mind. The idea I’m having is about the idea of creation and consumption. Does art require someone to consume the artwork? As an artist, I have this need to create art. Internally something is constant pushing out of me. If I do not make I cannot continue to exist. Often when I was younger and struggling emotionally with ruts and the mundane when the world itself felt too exhausting to even look at, my mom would ask when the last time I made something was. If I was upset for not reason when my mood was soured because “everything is awful” - “when was the last time you made something.” I have to create. I hear people talk about the gym in similar ways. I wonder if the feeling is actually the same or if their obsessions are rooting in something else, the community, the physcial “high” you get from running, the endorphins perhaps? All of these things don’t exist when in the creation of my art.
Then I look to other creatives. The movie The Menu really sticks out in my brain. The idea of the chefs who make something and the guests who consume. Obviously there are other topics being discussed as well in that movie but the movie decides the consumers are at fault for the chef losing his spark and passion. The only person who is allowed to live was someone who also “gives.” But it’s only one of them. She appears as a guests and helps bring the chef some passion back with a critique. I’m just not sure if I completely align with the idea of criticism bringing back passion, and for my purposes, creativity.
Alright so not quite The Menu but the idea of creators and consumers sticks in my brain. I have to create so does it follow that there are people who must consume? Are those the “cinephiles” that discuss every frame of the latest episode of Severance? Are they an important part of the process too? Possibly? But they have no impact on the creation of my art. However is it an important foil to the creation process? Maybe I should be looking towards that more. The consumption of media helps to come up with ideas. Its important to understand the conversation that other artists are having.
Perhaps the new perspectives will strike some inspiration that I can think of the way I was meant to explain something. For example, the show Yellowjackets deals with cannibalism (it is a good show if you haven’t seen it). And while the show is not at all talking about creativity explicitly, it is talking about what you would do to survive. The idea of cannibalism to ensure safety feels somehow applicable to the creation of art but I just haven’t figured out how or why yet. Creating art is often a very vulnerable thing. Its taking part of yourself and putting it on display often for the consumption of others. Yes, creation is inherently putting your art on display for others but usually that is part of the process. I guess the question is once you release the piece and start the next one, how much is it “still you?” Is it the same as leaving behind an arm, clearly something that was once you that for whatever reason you’ve left it to be served to an audience who may or may not care who’s arm it is and the pain of leaving something so significant behind? Is it just a foot print left in the beach, not actually every part of you just the markings that you passed through the space but never actually a part of you? I’m not sure but emotionally I lean more towards the first than the second.
So then how as an artist to you protect yourself from the harm that can come from so often losing pieces of yourself to the things you create? Is that just part of being an artist and why not everyone calls themselves artists? It is that actually as artists we should be working to grow with each other and help each other to grow back these limbs with new passions like in The Menu?
